Accountability—3 Tips to Get Some

One reason I have found that New Year’s Resolutions (and other big life-change proclamations) don’t get accomplished is a lack of accountability. 

There is no one following up with us, seeing how we are progressing along the way, reminding us of what we want to accomplish.

I find that even the most responsible, dependable, follow-through to the nth degree people are good with letting things slide if she or he is the only one affected. 

How did we learn that it was okay to disappoint ourselves? Why are we last on our own priority list?  And how can we get the support and accountability to become our best selves?

3 tips to get some accountability going:

1—Go Public

Using social media is one way to put out your commitment to the world and have your friends, followers or like-minded others cheer you on. I have seen this work well with commitments to weight loss, exercise, cooking more, and daily gratitude as people post their progress at regular intervals and get support and encouragement along the way. 

The upside is that your reporting on social media adds to the incentive to keep going.  The downside can be the very public aspect of social media.  If your life circumstances change or you just aren’t keeping on your path—everyone will know it.

2—Get an Accountability Partner

Having an accountability partner can be a great way to get, and potentially give, support on the journey to changing habits or achieving a goal.

Decide the parameters of your partnership. How often will you communicate and in what format?  Is the partnership solely about you achieving your goal or do you both want accountability? 

I have found that having an accountability partner who is also a coach who is growing his business has been hugely helpful for me.  We set out 2-weeks worth tasks for ourselves. We push each other to stretch a bit farther.  We share resources and ideas all in a quick 30-40 minute call twice a month.

3—Hire a Coach

Shocking I would suggest this, I know, but I continually hear from my clients that it is the accountability aspect of coaching that is one of the most valuable.  I know that I don’t want to fail to do the work I have set out for myself and then get asked about it by my coach. 

My coach actually takes me seriously when I say I will get something done and treats me like I’m worth achieving my goals.  My coach also questions me when I get overly ambitious and helps me set sane boundaries around work and personal time. I also find it helpful to have someone reminding me that personal, fun, just-me goals are important too!

With a coach, it is all about you.  A coach keeps an eye on your big picture; sees when you may be getting stuck and helps you get back on track.  The accountability, customized support and push to have you move out of your comfort zone to where the magic actually happens, are all great benefits of having a coach.

If you are considering a coach, click here for a complimentary session to see if my coaching is right for you!

Be well,

Carol

Money--What is the Big Secret?

When you hear the words “money” and “secret” in the same sentence, you might assume I’m gonna be talking about the Law of Attraction and how to attain wealth with your thoughts and intention. But not so much.  What interests me more is that money is such an uncomfortable topic.  I have rarely found a group of people just hanging out and talking about their relationship with money if they weren’t financial professionals or at a money workshop. 

When was the last time you hung out with your friends and discussed what you earn, what you save, and what your fears or insights are about money?  Never would be my response, but we talk about almost everything else—death, drugs, sex, politics, children’s literature. What is the big taboo about money?

For me, I feel that money is so wrapped up with self-esteem and my view of being worthy and valuable, that I risk being exposed as Not Enough if I spoke about my income and lack of financial savvy.  And this is regardless of my income and level of financial savvy—because I might be the wealthiest and smartest one in the room, but we will never know. And what if we did know—what might change in our relationships?  Hmmm….

As a new entrepreneur, try to have a discussion about setting fees and what peers charge and how that is working for them.  I live in a city with millions of potential clients and maybe ten thousand coaches at the high end.  There is no lack of opportunity for abundance for everyone, but it is the rare entrepreneur that speaks openly about how they are doing financially, what fees work, and what their concerns are.  What would happen if we could just say, “I charge this much an hour, some clients don’t blink, others run screaming”. Why is there an assumption that we should all have this money thing figured out? And when we find that one shining star that has found the key for them, we make their way THE RIGHT way?

And what, really, does my financial worth say about my value as a friend, spouse, business professional or member of society?  Is Bill Gates a better human being, father, husband because he has loads of cash? Are any of the Kardashians, who are famous and wealthy because they are famous and wealthy, people that you want your children to use as role models?  And we know Oprah is still working on her stuff—in great looking homes and locations—but is it about the money?  I know most of us want to find out. 

I want peace of mind, excellent health, a passionate partner, true friends, a creative/prosperous career and a wonderful home. 

How do I separate the almighty dollar from my definition of self-worth? I think it may be about creating a definition of what I want money to mean for me.  Money is an instrument of possibility and opportunity.  

This definition creates some detachment for me from the allure that money means more or reflects on me in any way. More money can mean more possibility and opportunity; less money may mean I need to be more creative, more conscientious, and more intentional with it.  Simple—not easy.

My goal is to take the shame and taboo out of the money conversation. We all have it and need it to some extent. We all use it daily. We tend to feel that either there is never enough, or that we personally don’t have enough—no matter how much we have. So, why the big secret???

______________________________

Carol Dacey-Charles, ACC, CPCC    

I am an ICF-accredited life, leadership and sudden wealth coach. I partner with my clients to find balance, clarity and peace of mind on their way to creating the lives they have always wanted. There are no extra points for suffering--Why Not Thrive?

Contact me for a complimentary 30-minute sample session, carol@ynoththrive.com

Home for the Holidays

--originally posted Dec 2013
The concept of Home has been gnawing at me lately.  What and where is “Home?” Is it a building, a city, a person?  I have lived in NYC since 1996, but I don’t own it as Home.  I am Californian, a Northern Californian, from the Bay Area really, Santa Clara specifically. Yet I no longer have family ties to Silicon Valley. My family house from 1957-2005 has new cars in the driveway and new cats in the yard. And if you have ever driven by the building where you grew up, and it definitely wasn’t Home anymore, you know the weird and empty feeling that it leaves in you. The knowing of “You can’t go Home again” as a true place/time reference which rings true as the years go by.