When you hear the words “money” and “secret” in the same sentence, you might assume I’m gonna be talking about the Law of Attraction and how to attain wealth with your thoughts and intention. But not so much. What interests me more is that money is such an uncomfortable topic. I have rarely found a group of people just hanging out and talking about their relationship with money if they weren’t financial professionals or at a money workshop.
When was the last time you hung out with your friends and discussed what you earn, what you save, and what your fears or insights are about money? Never would be my response, but we talk about almost everything else—death, drugs, sex, politics, children’s literature. What is the big taboo about money?
For me, I feel that money is so wrapped up with self-esteem and my view of being worthy and valuable, that I risk being exposed as Not Enough if I spoke about my income and lack of financial savvy. And this is regardless of my income and level of financial savvy—because I might be the wealthiest and smartest one in the room, but we will never know. And what if we did know—what might change in our relationships? Hmmm….
As a new entrepreneur, try to have a discussion about setting fees and what peers charge and how that is working for them. I live in a city with millions of potential clients and maybe ten thousand coaches at the high end. There is no lack of opportunity for abundance for everyone, but it is the rare entrepreneur that speaks openly about how they are doing financially, what fees work, and what their concerns are. What would happen if we could just say, “I charge this much an hour, some clients don’t blink, others run screaming”. Why is there an assumption that we should all have this money thing figured out? And when we find that one shining star that has found the key for them, we make their way THE RIGHT way?
And what, really, does my financial worth say about my value as a friend, spouse, business professional or member of society? Is Bill Gates a better human being, father, husband because he has loads of cash? Are any of the Kardashians, who are famous and wealthy because they are famous and wealthy, people that you want your children to use as role models? And we know Oprah is still working on her stuff—in great looking homes and locations—but is it about the money? I know most of us want to find out.
I want peace of mind, excellent health, a passionate partner, true friends, a creative/prosperous career and a wonderful home.
How do I separate the almighty dollar from my definition of self-worth? I think it may be about creating a definition of what I want money to mean for me. Money is an instrument of possibility and opportunity.
This definition creates some detachment for me from the allure that money means more or reflects on me in any way. More money can mean more possibility and opportunity; less money may mean I need to be more creative, more conscientious, and more intentional with it. Simple—not easy.
My goal is to take the shame and taboo out of the money conversation. We all have it and need it to some extent. We all use it daily. We tend to feel that either there is never enough, or that we personally don’t have enough—no matter how much we have. So, why the big secret???
Carol Dacey-Charles, ACC, CPCC
No comments:
Post a Comment
Comments are screened before posting.