Stop the Lie of Can't!

Ask a room of kindergartners who among them can sing, and all their hands shoot up.  They sing everyday, of course they can sing. 

Ask the same kids when they hit 3^rd grade and fewer hands go up.  Ask them when they hit 6^th or 7^th grade and 1-2 hands may rise.  Then ask them to sing Happy Birthday, and like magic, they all CAN sing. 

Can I do something has been translated into Do I think I am good enough.

Does this sounds familiar to any of you?  It sure rings true for me.  If you had asked me in middle or high school if I could paint or make art, NO would have been my answer.  Because I decided that art wasn’t something I was good at, I also decided that I couldn’t do it.

But I could paint—no one needed to teach me how to dip a brush in paint and touch it to a canvas.  Heck, even elephants can paint—check them out on you tube: https://youtu.be/owSZs7H24UY.

When we decide we are not good enough at something, we stop doing it or don’t even try. We limit ourselves. When we decide we are not worthy—of attention, respect, love, or effort—we play small and make excuses. 

Why does this matter?  What difference would it make if I never picked up a paintbrush, or took a stone carving class?  What if I played safe my whole life and never tried something I might fail at or not “like?”  Who would care?

I would. I would be living a small, limited life. I certainly wouldn’t be writing this. I wouldn’t have changed careers a couple times, started two businesses, traveled the world, lead non-profit boards and chaplain teams, or found out that I’m actually pretty good at making art—with a camera, paintbrush and carving tools.

I don’t believe that we are meant to live small, unadventurous, limited lives.  I believe that we all have gifts and ideas and stories inside us that will inspire others and change the world for the better if we choose to step outside our comfort zones and share them.  Outside our comfort zone is where the magic happens.

What have you decided that you “can’t” do?  Is it to learn a new technology, travel solo, speak in public, write a book or poem, learn to ski, or to ask for a raise?  I hear all the time—I don’t cook, I don’t dance, I don’t go to Queens, or I don’t do math. 

What if you could?  What if you did?  How much bigger would your world be?  How many more options and adventures could you have?

My challenge for you is to “Just do it.”  Do one thing, something new, different, and definitely outside your comfort zone. Do something that you have decided that you can’t or don’t do.  Choose to picture a great outcome.  Choose that perfectly imperfect is the best result.

Start saying that you can, or you will, or you can learn.  Because you can, and the world needs your unique light to shine bright!

I know you can!

Be well--Carol

What I learned on my Summer Vacation. Lesson One—Catching Waves

It is “back to school” time and that gets me thinking of years writing essays and taking stock of the waning days of summer.  And this summer, I actually had a few pretty cool Aha- moments I’d like to share.

The first lesson came while I was sitting on my lanai in Kauai—over-looking the cove in front of the Beach House restaurant.  Every morning, and truly all day long, surfers come here to take advantage of the break and easy water access.

This one morning I watched a surfer in his mid-forties take his board and walk to the point. He stood and watched the waves for a good 15-20 minutes—just staring out into the ocean as far as I could tell. There were already many surfers on the water right behind the restaurant, but instead of paddling in to join them, he watched. Then he did something different. He picked up his board and walked down the beach another 20-30 yards and paddled out to a different break where no one else was surfing.  I watched him sit on his board and watch the ocean. Then at the right moment, he turned toward shore and began paddling. I saw nothing coming up behind him, but again and again he kept catching waves—riding them in and paddling back out.

What I loved is that he followed his own instincts and trusted his experience enough not to follow the crowd.  He didn’t just jump in with the rest of the pack and fight for a little piece of a wave.  He made his own path and owned a whole part of the ocean. 

How many times do I doubt my ideas or dreams because they are different—on the road less traveled?  I know that I have let many a comment, solution or suggestion just die unspoken or not-acted upon because the rest of the crowd or company or “they” were going in a different direction and THEY must be right, right?  They all seem to know better—who am I?

Well, I am ready to make me my own leader rather than following the crowd. I am ready to claim my voice and urges as valuable and innovative and worthwhile. I want my own piece of the ocean. 

So this is what I’m taking away from the surfer:

Take time to really assess the situation before taking action.  Trust my instincts and experience when I do take action. But also, take action—he didn’t just watch the water; he made the effort to catch the waves that came his way. I want to take advantage of the opportunities that no one else may be seeing—to carve my path, share my strengths, speak my truth and shine my light.  I may be alone for a while, but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.  I know my rewards will roll in as well.

Are you willing to catch your own wave and claim your piece of the ocean?  Hang loose, more lessons from summer vacation coming very soon.