Showing Up

About 5 years ago I got stopped in our 'hood by a woman I didn’t recognize, but who definitely knew me. She said her name was Barbara and that she remembered me and my wife. Then it clicked. About 3 years before this, Barbara had been our local homeless woman.

Barbara would stand outside our grocery store—sometimes more lucid than others.  I didn’t always give her money, but I tried to always acknowledge her—say hi, ask how she was doing. One day she disappeared, which was not unusual, but this time she didn’t come back. 

This unrecognizable person standing before me--30-pounds heavier, fixed up teeth, sober and now married to a cop--had been that homeless woman.  Barbara said she wanted to come back and thank the people who had believed in her. She thanked me for seeing her and being kind to her. She now does peer counseling for addicts.  Amazing!

Why am I telling you this? Well, it is an example of how I have been applying my personal life philosophy. It isn’t complicated, just three little statements:

Show Up, Tell the Truth, Choose.

Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start—Show Up.


Definition according to Carol:
verb: To Show Up: 1. Consciously participate in your world—being present for what or who is here now and acting as needed to make things better. 2. Be your best, brightest, and most unique self as much as possible. 3. Be fully human along the way—messy, frustrated, goofy, angry, ridiculous and brilliant, as well as kind, compassionate and loving to yourself and others too.

So, what does that look like?
It can be as simple as seeing the person and not the addiction--really seeing her/him, not stepping over or muttering under your breath. I have tried to remember that no one planned to grow up and become an addict, homeless or hungry.  How would you want someone else to Show Up if this was you?

On a lighter note, you can Show Up by learning the names of your neighbors or of the workers at your local stores. Being there for your family, visiting friends in the hospital and making that overdue phone call--you know the one--is also Showing Up.

But it doesn't end there.  Showing Up follows us to work. We all know people whose bodies are in the room, but their minds or hearts are not in the building. Showing Up is being on time, on purpose, fully engaged and prepared. You can't Show Up if you are on email, social media and/or Candy Crush in the middle of a meeting.

Showing Up is not just an outward activity, but an inward one as well.  For me it is actively taking steps to make my life bigger and better.  I Show Up by deepening my spirituality, exploring my creativity and challenging myself intellectually. Showing Up means I can't play small--in my relationships, career or health.

Basically, Showing Up means not phoning-in your life.

To consistently Show Up can be hard and not a path I recommend going alone.  I ask trusted partners to keep me accountable, which helps a lot!
This is how I Show Up for the life I want to be living.  How do you want to Show Up for your life in 2019?

Let me know and here’s to Showing Up in the New Year!!
(Next time, I'll dive into Tell The Truth!)