Who am I anyway?

--originally posted Feb 2013
So, who am I, and why is “I Am” such a big part of this site’s design? First, I am Carol Dacey-Charles, a certified co-active coach working with individual clients and teams to help them achieve their goals with greater ease, joy and focus.Metaphorically: I help people lay down their weapons that they use on themselves and others so that creativity and thriving can happen. When we don't have to defend ourselves or attack, there is space for unlimited possibilities to occur. When we stop beating up ourselves, we have the energy and focus to start changing the world.

My experience as a coach, as a prayer chaplain, and as a friend has shown me that more dreams, ideas, inventions, art, businesses, etc. get squashed before they ever have a chance to see the light of day by the power and belief in the negative voices we all carry around in our heads.Some of the most brilliant, together, in-charge people I know are walking around right now thinking “I am a loser who will never succeed and who cares anyway so I am going to stay at this job I hate because if I keep my head down maybe they won’t fire me today and at least I can pay the rent even though I am dying here.” I was part of a Leadership program—a training program that people freely signed up for, calling themselves leaders, paying thousands of dollars to become better leaders, and a third of them said the biggest thing they would have to change to truly step into their leadership is the feeling and negative self-talk that they were not good enough.That tells me that there are a whole lot of people out there who may never have the courage to call themselves leaders who are constantly battling the inner-critic who says, “Who do you think you are?” “You are too old, too dumb, too ugly, too young, too late to start living your dream.” “You should be married by now.” You can’t wear that in public.” Any of this sound familiar? Fill in the blank with your bully’s special saying.Your words come from your thoughts and if your thoughts are dominated by a negative voice that is constantly telling you what you Should and Shouldn’t be doing and that you are Not Enough—your words reflect that. The more you repeat those words that cut yourself down, the more your actions reflect that truth you are carrying around. You start to act as if you are not worthy of love, a raise, a new job, or achieving your dream.This leads me to why I believe “I AM” are two of the most powerful words, right behind I love you. The words you choose to follow “I am” define who you are. It may be a name, a title, or a state of being, but whatever it is, it is the way you are choosing to define yourself in the world.I’m here to tell you that just by being you, you are enough. You are the best and only you that there ever will be, ever. No, you may not be as rich, or as talented, or as funny as so-and-so. Great—that is who they were born to be, not you. Only you can bring your perspective, your ideas, and your brilliance to the planet right now.So, who am I? I am Carol. I am talented. I am smart. I am funny and eccentric. I am a blogger. I am a wife. I am a leader. And I am enough.How about you? Please share who you are with the Word for Good community.