tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19470920526200810842024-03-05T00:20:18.394-05:00Why Not Thrive? BlogAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08629514433978045179noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1947092052620081084.post-76931674108404015222019-01-16T11:53:00.001-05:002019-01-16T11:53:16.425-05:00Showing Up<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvqGgpnuH3v6rp5h-f866rQ_aqClwNs7gw7vUvpW9RIuyvhUVGlVPZtEYEpZterxjlVg_iV6lXZYfY4pvCLD76p6-BvNDtmbMyKD8jbAzzBdCf1cTmPE1AEcpeaSppcFdAJskj0KxsWjPz/s1600/b27c85d7-faca-4820-8d16-1337a84816dc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="469" data-original-width="700" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvqGgpnuH3v6rp5h-f866rQ_aqClwNs7gw7vUvpW9RIuyvhUVGlVPZtEYEpZterxjlVg_iV6lXZYfY4pvCLD76p6-BvNDtmbMyKD8jbAzzBdCf1cTmPE1AEcpeaSppcFdAJskj0KxsWjPz/s200/b27c85d7-faca-4820-8d16-1337a84816dc.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;">About 5 years ago I got stopped in our 'hood by a woman I didn’t recognize, but who definitely knew me. She said her name was Barbara and that she remembered me and my wife. Then it clicked. About 3 years before this, Barbara had been our local homeless woman.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Barbara would stand outside our grocery store—sometimes more lucid than others. I didn’t always give her money, but I tried to always acknowledge her—say hi, ask how she was doing. One day she disappeared, which was not unusual, but this time she didn’t come back. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;">This unrecognizable person standing before me--30-pounds heavier, fixed up teeth, sober and now married to a cop--had been that homeless woman. Barbara said she wanted to come back and thank the people who had believed in her. She thanked me for seeing her and being kind to her. She now does peer counseling for addicts. Amazing!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Why am I telling you this? Well, it is an example of how I have been applying my personal life philosophy. It isn’t complicated, just three little statements:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><b><em>Show Up, Tell the Truth, Choose</em>.</b></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start—<em>Show Up</em>.</span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Definition according to Carol:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><em>verb: </em>To<em> Show Up</em>: 1. Consciously participate in your world—being present for what or who is here now and acting as needed to make things better. 2. Be your best, brightest, and most unique self as much as possible. 3. Be fully human along the way—messy, frustrated, goofy, angry, ridiculous and brilliant, as well as kind, compassionate and loving to yourself and others too.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms", "lucida grande", "lucida sans unicode", "lucida sans", tahoma, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms", "lucida grande", "lucida sans unicode", "lucida sans", tahoma, sans-serif;">So, what does that look like?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;">It can be as simple as seeing the person and not the addiction--really seeing her/him, not stepping over or muttering under your breath. I have tried to remember that no one planned to grow up and become an addict, homeless or hungry. How would you want someone else to <em>Show Up</em> if this was you?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;">On a lighter note, you can <em>Show Up</em> by learning the names of your neighbors or of the workers at your local stores. Being there for your family, visiting friends in the hospital and making that overdue phone call--you know the one--is also <em>Showing Up</em>.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;">But it doesn't end there. <em>Showing Up </em>follows us to work. We all know people whose bodies are in the room, but their minds or hearts are not in the building. </span></span><em style="font-family: "trebuchet ms", "lucida grande", "lucida sans unicode", "lucida sans", tahoma, sans-serif;">Showing Up</em><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms", "lucida grande", "lucida sans unicode", "lucida sans", tahoma, sans-serif;"> is being on time, on purpose, fully engaged and prepared. You can't </span><em style="font-family: "trebuchet ms", "lucida grande", "lucida sans unicode", "lucida sans", tahoma, sans-serif;">Show Up</em><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms", "lucida grande", "lucida sans unicode", "lucida sans", tahoma, sans-serif;"> if you are on email, social media and/or Candy Crush in the middle of a meeting.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms", "lucida grande", "lucida sans unicode", "lucida sans", tahoma, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><em>Showing Up </em>is not just an outward activity, but an inward one as well. For me it is actively taking steps to make my life bigger and better. I <em>Show Up</em> by deepening my spirituality, exploring my creativity and challenging myself intellectually. Showing Up means I can't play small--in my relationships, career or health.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><b>Basically, <em>Showing Up</em> means not phoning-in your life.</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;">To consistently <em>Show Up</em> can be hard and not a path I recommend going alone. I ask trusted partners to keep me accountable, which helps a lot!</span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;">This is how I <em>Show Up </em>for the life I want to be living. How do you want to <em>Show Up </em>for your life in 2019?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Let me know and here’s to <em>Showing Up </em>in the New Year!!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "lucida grande" , "lucida sans unicode" , "lucida sans" , "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><b>(Next time, I'll dive into Tell The Truth!)</b></span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08629514433978045179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1947092052620081084.post-39431026174738680582018-12-14T18:45:00.000-05:002018-12-27T18:50:43.986-05:00Coming Out...again!<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 32px; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">My name is Carol and I have a mental illness. I have been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I've been away from blogging for about two years and I want to tell you why. Nine days after my last published blog, my life took a detour into a dark rabbit hole and it took me a long while to find my way out again. There were the first two or three weeks that I didn't sleep and couldn't "remember" how to breathe. Two weeks in a hospital. Some delusions. You know, just how you want to spend your 49th birthday!</span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br />
</span></span> <span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">There were the months of becoming the opposite of ME. I experienced depression, anxiety attacks, extreme weight loss and extreme weight gain. I especially enjoyed the 24-hour a day supervision/care/baby-sitting for months on end in my own home. Happy times.</span></span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">I</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> didn't do something to cause this, and no traumatic event happened to bring it on. Thankfully, I had the support of a loving family and friends, a church community that snapped into action, and access to good medical care (including a fabulous Psych ward!) to help me through.</span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Agenda-Medium;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br />
</span></span></span></span></span> <span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Agenda-Medium;"><span style="background-color: white;">So why Come Out about it? </span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">First, because so many people d</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">on't. Our country still has a deep shame and fear around mental illness. I have learned that many more people then I knew have had a mental illness. I get lots of personal confessions when I speak about it. And why the heck not! I've had tons of "physical" illnesses and the brain is just another part of the body. Why don't we expect it to get sick or have breakdowns?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 32px; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3e2513; font-family: Agenda-Medium;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></span> <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3e2513; font-family: Agenda-Medium;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Second, we have a large population of people living with mental illness who don't have the resources that I did. When I see people on the subway whose energy says the world is out to get them--that they are "wrong", I get it now. I've been there and felt that. If I had had a drug to make me feel the way that hypo-mania felt--way happy, energized, focused--I would have done anything to get me some of that. I suspect that many people with drug addictions may be looking for the same thing--to not hurt so much. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3e2513; font-family: Agenda-Medium;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="color: #3e2513; font-family: Agenda-Medium;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></span></span></span> <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3e2513; font-family: Agenda-Medium;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="color: #3e2513; font-family: Agenda-Medium;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Third, I think it is important to separate the person from the illness. It is not a label I wear, nor should anyone have to. I am not bipolar, but I have bipolar. No one IS their illness, their personal tragedy, their addiction, their poverty, their wealth, their us vs them. People are amazing, strong, beautiful, and vulnerable.</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3e2513; font-family: Agenda-Medium;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">What has this journey given me so far? I do feel like myself again, however--I'm goofier than before. I have more empathy. I cry more often. And I am not so attached to the image/definition/mask I had held up as Carol in the before time. I feel the need to share where I have been so others don't feel alone.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3e2513; font-family: Agenda-Medium;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><br />
</span></span></span></span> <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3e2513; font-family: Agenda-Medium;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">My name is Carol, I have a mental illness. Nice to meet you.</span></span></span></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08629514433978045179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1947092052620081084.post-75830993093951583432016-04-07T20:34:00.002-04:002016-04-07T20:34:41.739-04:00Who Might Want A Coach?<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The myth of the individual, toughing it out alone—no outside
support, advice, encouragement, or kick-in-the-butt—runs rampant in American
culture. The pull yourself up by the
bootstraps (does anyone still wear bootstraps?) and forge your own path may be
noble, but is hardly realistic or even fun.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ask anyone who has achieved anything we would label success
and they will tell you that somewhere along the way they were taught, inspired,
encouraged, doubted, bank-rolled, or lifted toward their succeeding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was someone, or many someones, who
helped them to get to their goals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We don’t live and work in isolation, and when you can take
advantage of the wisdom and even failings of those around you, the climb toward
success is made that much easier.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">No one succeeds alone. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So, who is on your team? We all have our own team of family,
friends, professionals, mentors, inspirers, networkers, and
support—some hired, some acquired over the years—to help us achieve our
dreams.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Do you have the full spectrum of team members you need to
get you where you are going?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If your team doesn’t have someone solely there to help you
achieve your goals, then you might want a coach.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you don’t have someone you can tell your fears, stories,
and crazy ideas to without fear of judgment, you might want a coach.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you don’t have someone keeping you accountable to your
timeline and goals, you might want a coach.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you don’t have someone helping you see new perspectives
and possibilities, you might want a coach.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you don’t have someone you can talk to about your whole
life, because you are a whole person, you might want a coach.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">No one succeeds alone.
You might want a coach.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08629514433978045179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1947092052620081084.post-34312738358881283972016-02-25T13:20:00.000-05:002016-02-25T13:20:38.498-05:00Accountability—3 Tips to Get Some<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0_-c8riTRqGi36VEGZMp2jUpgC8_7b6mlUzJTQOcIXVeDlV03H7FqToJaA19xzgyR93kRr5b3K31N_SFK8YCUdfR2YtVRIx9uMGM0F8HOdGsblx2_knRjRAXogerw6d3Ml0_gcMq-CD9Z/s1600/accountability-by-beach-body.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="120" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0_-c8riTRqGi36VEGZMp2jUpgC8_7b6mlUzJTQOcIXVeDlV03H7FqToJaA19xzgyR93kRr5b3K31N_SFK8YCUdfR2YtVRIx9uMGM0F8HOdGsblx2_knRjRAXogerw6d3Ml0_gcMq-CD9Z/s200/accountability-by-beach-body.png" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One reason I
have found that New Year’s Resolutions (and other big life-change
proclamations) don’t get accomplished is a lack of accountability. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There is no
one following up with us, seeing how we are progressing along the way,
reminding us of what we want to accomplish.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I find that
even the most responsible, dependable, follow-through to the nth degree people
are good with letting things slide if she or he is the only one affected.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">How did we
learn that it was okay to disappoint ourselves? Why are we last on our own
priority list?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And how can we get the
support and accountability to become our best selves?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">3 tips to
get some accountability going:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>1—Go
Public</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Using social
media is one way to put out your commitment to the world and have your friends,
followers or like-minded others cheer you on. I have seen this work well with
commitments to weight loss, exercise, cooking more, and daily gratitude as
people post their progress at regular intervals and get support and
encouragement along the way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The upside
is that your reporting on social media adds to the incentive to keep
going.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The downside can be the very
public aspect of social media.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If your
life circumstances change or you just aren’t keeping on your path—everyone will
know it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>2—Get an
Accountability Partner</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Having an
accountability partner can be a great way to get, and potentially give, support
on the journey to changing habits or achieving a goal.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Decide the
parameters of your partnership. How often will you communicate and in what
format?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is the partnership solely about
you achieving your goal or do you both want accountability?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have found
that having an accountability partner who is also a coach who is growing his
business has been hugely helpful for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We set out 2-weeks worth tasks for ourselves. We push each other to
stretch a bit farther.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We share
resources and ideas all in a quick 30-40 minute call twice a month.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>3—Hire a
Coach</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shocking I
would suggest this, I know, but I continually hear from my clients that it is
the accountability aspect of coaching that is one of the most valuable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that I don’t want to fail to do the
work I have set out for myself and then get asked about it by my coach.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My coach actually
takes me seriously when I say I will get something done and treats me like I’m
worth achieving my goals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My coach also
questions me when I get overly ambitious and helps me set sane boundaries
around work and personal time. I also find it helpful to have someone reminding
me that personal, fun, just-me goals are important too!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">With a
coach, it is all about you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A coach
keeps an eye on your big picture; sees when you may be getting stuck and helps
you get back on track.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The accountability,
customized support and push to have you move out of your comfort zone to where
the magic actually happens, are all great benefits of having a coach.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you are
considering a coach, <a href="http://ynotthrive.com/freesession.php?DOC_INST=2">click
here</a> for a complimentary session to see if my coaching is right for you!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Be well,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Carol</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08629514433978045179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1947092052620081084.post-90820018484615866472016-02-11T11:36:00.000-05:002016-02-11T11:36:08.401-05:00Stop the Lie of Can't!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD26fA6c5_Hm4ALl5pSihho99d7Ad13OWguHV31_YU5F7sbIBhrOcbSH3zU8yjQo5CgiRld8q36HOINDCwekf_YJkhQuDsgHJQvUM2AjyWct57AqumrIXWNcU-1yQtsKdpOd5VoruRnai6/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD26fA6c5_Hm4ALl5pSihho99d7Ad13OWguHV31_YU5F7sbIBhrOcbSH3zU8yjQo5CgiRld8q36HOINDCwekf_YJkhQuDsgHJQvUM2AjyWct57AqumrIXWNcU-1yQtsKdpOd5VoruRnai6/s200/Unknown.jpeg" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Ask a room
of kindergartners who among them can sing, and all their hands shoot up. They sing everyday, of course they can
sing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Ask the same
kids when they hit 3<sup>rd</sup> grade and fewer hands go up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ask them when they hit 6<sup>th</sup> or 7<sup>th</sup>
grade and 1-2 hands may rise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then ask
them to sing Happy Birthday, and like magic, they all <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">CAN</i> sing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Can I do something</i> has been translated into <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Do I think I am good enough. <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Does this
sounds familiar to any of you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It sure
rings true for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you had asked me
in middle or high school if I could paint or make art, NO would have been my answer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because I decided that art wasn’t something I
was good at, I also decided that I couldn’t do it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">But I <i>could</i>
paint—no one needed to teach me how to dip a brush in paint and touch it to a
canvas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Heck, even elephants can
paint—check them out on you tube: <a href="https://youtu.be/owSZs7H24UY">https://youtu.be/owSZs7H24UY</a>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">When we
decide we are not good enough at something, we stop doing it or don’t even try.
We limit ourselves. When we decide we are not worthy—of attention, respect,
love, or effort—we play small and make excuses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Why does
this matter?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What difference would it
make if I never picked up a paintbrush, or took a stone carving class?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if I played safe my whole life and never
tried something I might fail at or not “like?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Who would care? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I
would.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would be living a small,
limited life. I certainly wouldn’t be writing this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wouldn’t have changed careers a couple
times, started two businesses, traveled the world, lead non-profit boards and
chaplain teams, or found out that I’m actually pretty good at making art—with a
camera, paintbrush and carving tools. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I don’t
believe that we are meant to live small, unadventurous, limited lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe that we all have gifts and ideas
and stories inside us that will inspire others and change the world for the
better if we choose to step outside our comfort zones and share them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Outside our comfort zone is where the magic
happens. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What have
you decided that you “can’t” do?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is it
to learn a new technology, travel solo, speak in public, write a book or poem,
learn to ski, or to ask for a raise? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
hear all the time—I don’t cook, I don’t dance, I don’t go to Queens, or I don’t
do math.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What if you
could?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if you did?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How much bigger would your world be?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How many more options and adventures could
you have? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">My challenge
for you is to “Just do it.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do one
thing, something new, different, and definitely outside your comfort zone. Do
something that you have decided that you can’t or don’t do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Choose to picture a great outcome.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Choose that perfectly imperfect
is the best result.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Start saying
that you can, or you will, or you can learn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Because you can, and the world needs your unique light to shine bright!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I know you
can!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Be well--Carol</span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08629514433978045179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1947092052620081084.post-9786677361288421192016-01-12T14:53:00.000-05:002016-01-12T14:53:43.170-05:00Powerball Dreaming: What To Do If Sudden Wealth Comes Calling<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8Sh48wg5iuqvhHlKM798iWG2X3JFs23nwod3fxbK-UWENOIBnGjT2cHSoOZ6mmZGqIARrbEKECwNWAhHqKrlc6jCepHhhCdFpF33U0Pk9Ms62yxu58GMRcIklqDQrhCLn1vuBGF038fqM/s1600/jackpot-problem-windfall.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8Sh48wg5iuqvhHlKM798iWG2X3JFs23nwod3fxbK-UWENOIBnGjT2cHSoOZ6mmZGqIARrbEKECwNWAhHqKrlc6jCepHhhCdFpF33U0Pk9Ms62yxu58GMRcIklqDQrhCLn1vuBGF038fqM/s200/jackpot-problem-windfall.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Can you feel the slight frenzy in the air? 1.4 <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">billion</i> dollars are up for the winning
this week in the Powerball lottery. Do you have your ticket yet? I have mine! Of
course I do--because even though I have better odds of being elected president
than winning, there is a chance. And you can’t win if you don’t play.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As a sudden wealth coach who works with people dealing with
the emotional and logistical fallout of financial windfalls, what is my plan if
my numbers are pulled this week?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It is the same as the advice I give to my clients who come
into $20,000, $20 million or $200 million from a lawsuit, divorce, retirement
payout, dream job, business sale or inheritance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And those windfalls happen all the time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1—<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Pause and Assess</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Don’t rush
into anything. Most financial windfalls are the result of a big change.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Any loss or change of routine comes with
disorientation and various stages of grief and overwhelm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The emotions can range from relief, to lack
of deserving, to anxiety about the added responsibilities. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>With these
changes also comes a redefining of identity—from married to divorced, or
widowed, from the guy in charge to retiree, from the co-worker to the boss, or
from part of cast to the star.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It takes
time to accommodate this new role and figure out the new rules and
responsibilities.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Stepping
back from Doing, allows you to start the process of figuring out what is
important now and who you want to be in the midst of all this change.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2—<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Make a Plan.</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Take time
to create a plan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For some people, 3-4
months extra salary at once can be over-whelming and be gone faster than it
came. Even if this is “play money” for you, make a plan of how you want to
spend it, share it, pay-it-forward and/or save it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Even if the
amount seems bigger than you could ever spend in a lifetime, trust me, there
will be plenty of people and opportunities to prove you wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Creating a
solid plan helps you focus on what is important to you, establish good
boundaries, and gives you structure when there are way too many options.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2—<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Build Your Team<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Hire a team
of professionals you like and respect to help you protect your assets and limit
your liabilities. Typical team members include: a financial planner (CFP,
wealth manager, etc.), a tax attorney, CPA, insurance professional, estate
attorney.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, yes, a certified coach as
a sounding board, perspective shifter and accountability partner.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>There may
be others you want for your circumstances, but what is important is that you
feel heard and that you are comfortable with your team.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you don’t understand a concept—ask
questions. If you are still confused, ask more questions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you do not get clarity, get a new team
member. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>You do not
need to be an expert, but you do need to understand how your money is being
invested and why.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">3—<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">“No” is your Friend<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></b>There will be many people who
will want to help you spend and invest your new found fortune.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Family, friends and strangers will approach
you with opportunities and tales of woe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Stick to your plan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You are not
responsible for everyone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you want to
share, work with your team to create a plan to make that happen.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>If someone
or some project is not part of your plan, you can gently tell them no or not at
this time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can even “blame” your
lawyers or advisers for not being able to help at this time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Remember, every <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">No</i> is a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Yes</i> to something
else.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">4—<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Self-Care</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It is okay
to treat yourself well when you have a windfall.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Eat well, get plenty of sleep, exercise, and
take time for reflection—through meditation or journaling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You will change and grow as you adjust to
your new circumstances and you want to be able to follow your instincts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>What have
you always wanted to do, but have been putting it off? What toy or treasure
have you always wanted, but have denied yourself?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Life isn’t about the stuff AND living by a
code of self-denial isn’t a virtue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Financial windfalls are much more common that the Powerball
hitting $1Billion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having a plan and the
support to put it into place can help reduce the stress and make it a time of
opportunity rather than a minefield of overwhelm.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08629514433978045179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1947092052620081084.post-30653979117588602002015-11-23T14:40:00.000-05:002015-11-23T15:04:07.563-05:00When Loss is Part of the Picture: 6 Tips for Sanity in the Holiday Season<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQeHvCjsx8gn4Njz_PEegtPpzorh4-iIJf2li57SMHEGncKCg9ktW6OTRwmu4LfUEdS5iFeOOI6JbeRi3o669Tf8n_jHU6O1VhscpEC2cipeFiyn-Op62G-qQgyiiVcDBffGVbN8_zJSt6/s1600/1417784526.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="130" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQeHvCjsx8gn4Njz_PEegtPpzorh4-iIJf2li57SMHEGncKCg9ktW6OTRwmu4LfUEdS5iFeOOI6JbeRi3o669Tf8n_jHU6O1VhscpEC2cipeFiyn-Op62G-qQgyiiVcDBffGVbN8_zJSt6/s200/1417784526.png" width="200" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;">Whether this time of year
makes you giddy with anticipation, or heavy with anticipation, the holidays can
be a LOT. There are the expectations, the excesses and the relatives—that can
push our buttons, warm our hearts, or make Syria look like a good vacation
option.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;">I have to admit that I
generally like the holidays. Thanksgiving is my holiday of chosen family and
friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Christmas is about traditions. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;">Yes, I’m one of the cultural
Jews that grew up with a tree, stockings on the fireplace, and all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have a real tree, decorated and lit. We
open stockings first, then gifts, one item at a time, round robin style—glass
of juice mandatory.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;">But I have also had years
when the holidays mostly sucked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A few
years back my mother-in-law passed away on Dec 26.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That was a month after her husband, my
father-in law, had made his transition.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Happy Holidays!</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;">A couple years after that,
another unexpected death, this one a best friend, happened on Dec 5.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That was a year of <span style="color: #0b5394;"><b>just getting through</b></span> not only the winter holidays, but all the “special
occasions”—birthdays, holidays, vacations, Fridays.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;">I found that this death
colored the entire year. I learned when you love big, you get the opportunity
to hurt big.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;">I can imagine that <span style="color: #0b5394;"><b>any major
loss or change</b></span>—a divorce, a retirement, a major illness, a move to a new state,
or the death of a loved one—can make the holidays feel anything but jolly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;">So, how do we ease the
pressure to be “Merry and Bright” just because the calendar and Toys R Us says
so, and find a way to be fully present to our friends, families and feelings
instead?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><b>1. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Self-Care</b></span>—Yes the holidays are about giving,
so give some love to yourself first.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Get
plenty of sleep, eat well, exercise and indulge a little in a hot bath or
massage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><b>2. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Feel your feelings</b></span>—Putting on a happy face
isn’t required, neither is being sad, if that isn’t what you are feeling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Take a break from the crowd if you are
overwhelmed, or cozy in with your peeps who love you just as you are.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><b>3.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Boundaries</b></span>—Do you need to cook the turkey, bake
the pies, send out the holiday cards, or buy everyone a gift “like you do every
year”?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It isn’t every year; it is okay
to just say no.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Set up the expectations
in advance of what you are willing to do or not. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><b>4.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ask for Help</b></span>—It is truly a win-win. When you
ask for help, it allows your friends and family to support you in a specific
and tangible way. It can be hard to know how to be and what to do around
someone in grief. Asking for help allows others to show you their love.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><b>5. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Abolish “should” from your holidays</b></span>—Let go of
the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">perfect picture</i> of what the
holidays are “supposed” to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What do
you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">want</i> your holidays to be about
this year? Is it family, friends, laughter, nature, sacred moments, connection,
or gratitude? Focus on what is important to you—share that with your loved
ones.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;">For me, sharing simple,
heart-felt, expressions of love with friends and family felt much more
important than spending hours in a mall or online buying stuff just
because.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><b>6. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Create a new tradition</b></span>—Sometimes a brand new
ritual can help shift the energy from the past to right now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Writing down one thing you are grateful for
on a post-it and putting that in a jar each day. The gratitudes can be read at
the end of the month, or end of the year. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><b>Even positive changes</b></span>—a
marriage, new baby, or dream job—have the potential for anxiety as traditions and
relationships are altered or newly created.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The negotiation of who to celebrate with, and when, can be crazy making.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;">So whether you are moving
through major changes, or just want more sanity with your celebrations, <span style="color: #cc0000;">I wish
you joy and peace in this season</span>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;">I am holding you and yours as
loved, worthy, safe and whole.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;">Be well,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: normal;">Carol</span><span style="font-size: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08629514433978045179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1947092052620081084.post-88394421560183620802015-02-11T18:54:00.001-05:002015-06-12T13:34:31.648-04:00Acceptance—Who needs it???<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-khpyQkJq4HpHa49mZ_Wqm88B27Lno2z24OWnMEKzOmG7P7uzdZOXYEos_hDIrzvv7nj3_0eO0JVjdkr-6dw1hQhVe2f9z76T9UBZaLagRizl3ALVuvSorLXXuc1hJuCnCGzIVc0um14t/s1600/acceptance.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-khpyQkJq4HpHa49mZ_Wqm88B27Lno2z24OWnMEKzOmG7P7uzdZOXYEos_hDIrzvv7nj3_0eO0JVjdkr-6dw1hQhVe2f9z76T9UBZaLagRizl3ALVuvSorLXXuc1hJuCnCGzIVc0um14t/s1600/acceptance.jpg" width="200" /></a><br />
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<h3 style="text-align: right;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #0c0c26; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">God, give us </span><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">grace to accept<span style="font-weight: normal;"> with serenity</span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"> the
things that cannot be changed… </span></span></i><span style="font-weight: normal; text-align: right;">R</span><span style="font-weight: normal; text-align: right;">einhold Niebuhr</span></h3>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What is this Acceptance thing all about, and why should I
want to get within 10 feet of anything that sounds like putting a smiley face
sticker on a situation that I would rather take outside and kick its butt???<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well, I’ve been learning a lot about Acceptance lately and
what I’m learning has turned a few assumptions of mine inside out.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
First, Acceptance doesn’t equal powerlessness. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the past my brain has heard—acceptance as a
substitute for complacency. “Just accept what is” meaning “You can’t buck the
system just deal with it”. Or ”This is the diagnosis, there is nothing to be
done—Accept it.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What I have learned is that Acceptance is actually very proactive
and very empowering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Acceptance is taking all of the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">story</i>, the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">blame</i>, the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">emotion</i>, and the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">wishing it was another way</i> and detaching them from <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Just the Facts</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once I can look at and acknowledge <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Just the Facts</i> I have the opportunity to
be at choice about what I want to do next.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>As long as I’m caught up in what I think or feel about the facts, I
can’t move forward.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here’s an example. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Two years ago, one of my best friend’s of the past 15-years
just didn’t wake up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was a man my
exact age, no big symptoms, no illness. Overwhelmed, torn-apart, lost—all good
metaphors for where I was at the start of that journey to heal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once I could cry, and rage a bit, and why and
blame and hide—I needed to find a way that I could keep moving forward.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If I stayed stuck in the story that “Someone our age just
doesn’t die” or “Why did God let this happen?” I would be lost looking for an
answer to an unanswerable question, looking for who or what to blame. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Acceptance helped me get present with the facts—he was gone.
I hated that, still do, but being with <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Just
the Facts—</i>nothing I can fix or change—helped me to be able to choose what
action I could take next to start living without him. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Acceptance didn’t take away the pain (or the year of active
grieving I went through), but it let me put down the illusion that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not wanting something to be so</i> can
actually change what has already happened. Acceptance also helped me see that
kicking and blaming myself, and those I loved, could not possibly protect me
from pain in the future.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Acceptance isn’t about liking what is. It is being able to
BE fully present with what is, so I can choose my next best step. </b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So many of us can get stuck in loops about what happened in
the past—the injustices, the hurts, the blaming. Or, we get caught up in the
fears of what might happen in the future—break-ups, getting fired, not
succeeding, being found out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Acceptance
helps us to get in the NOW.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h4>
Try this which a situation that has you stuck or agitated:</h4>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">1. What
are </span><i style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Just the Facts </i><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">that you know for
sure right now? Remember—not what you feel about the facts, not your story
about the facts, not the facts in the past, and not the “might be the facts” if
x-happens.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><i style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Just the Facts</i><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">, just right now.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span></div>
<br />
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2. What do I know now that I didn’t before? What can I learn
from this? Is not accepting <i>Just the
Facts</i> useful right now?<o:p></o:p></div>
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3. Knowing what I know right now—what is my next, best action
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Just the next action, just one step.<o:p></o:p></div>
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4. Take that action.<o:p></o:p></div>
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5. Repeat step one.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The beginning of the Serenity Prayer is often quoted as: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">God, grant me the serenity to accept the
things I cannot change…<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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The original version is slightly different: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #0c0c26; mso-fareast-language: JA;">God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be
changed…</span></i><br />
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So, I wish you grace on your journey toward Acceptance and
the freedom it can bring.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08629514433978045179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1947092052620081084.post-69802967268080066292014-11-02T16:59:00.000-05:002014-11-02T16:59:00.854-05:00Money--What is the Big Secret?<h2>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOdT3iBzJ-6NFXvlhsMDShUo70PjVgV0xwno1T1M3vx2svTVcXouEvHZuZ8gY-CnacEL9WVNJlr0y0WRPN0rse6XGeh_E7w8FLHvA6PQHUa2a_NAXxttIk0UuVnH85xOZLX0thw7iI24fU/s1600/2012-03-20-secret-money.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOdT3iBzJ-6NFXvlhsMDShUo70PjVgV0xwno1T1M3vx2svTVcXouEvHZuZ8gY-CnacEL9WVNJlr0y0WRPN0rse6XGeh_E7w8FLHvA6PQHUa2a_NAXxttIk0UuVnH85xOZLX0thw7iI24fU/s1600/2012-03-20-secret-money.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">When you hear the words “money” and “secret” in the same sentence, you might assume I’m gonna be talking about the Law of Attraction and how to attain wealth with your thoughts and intention. But not so much. What interests me more is that money is such an uncomfortable topic. I have rarely found a group of people just hanging out and talking about their relationship with money if they weren’t financial professionals or at a money workshop. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">When was the last time you hung out with your friends and discussed what you earn, what you save, and what your fears or insights are about money? Never would be my response, but we talk about almost everything else—death, drugs, sex, politics, children’s literature. What is the big taboo about money?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">For me, I feel that money is so wrapped up with self-esteem and my view of being worthy and valuable, that I risk being exposed as <i>Not Enough</i> if I spoke about my income and lack of financial savvy. And this is regardless of my income and level of financial savvy—because I might be the wealthiest and smartest one in the room, but we will never know. And what if we did know—what might change in our relationships? Hmmm….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">As a new entrepreneur, try to have a discussion about setting fees and what peers charge and how that is working for them. I live in a city with millions of potential clients and maybe ten thousand coaches at the high end. There is no lack of opportunity for abundance for everyone, but it is the rare entrepreneur that speaks openly about how they are doing financially, what fees work, and what their concerns are. What would happen if we could just say, “I charge this much an hour, some clients don’t blink, others run screaming”. Why is there an assumption that we should all have this money thing figured out? And when we find that one shining star that has found the key for them, we make their way THE RIGHT way?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">And what, really, does my financial worth say about my value as a friend, spouse, business professional or member of society? Is Bill Gates a better human being, father, husband because he has loads of cash? Are any of the Kardashians, who are famous and wealthy because they are famous and wealthy, people that you want your children to use as role models? And we know Oprah is still working on her stuff—in great looking homes and locations—but is it about the money? I know most of us want to find out. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">I want peace of mind, excellent health, a passionate partner, true friends, a creative/prosperous career and a wonderful home. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">How do I separate the almighty dollar from my definition of self-worth? I think it may be about creating a definition of what I want money to mean for me. <i>Money is an instrument of possibility and opportunity</i>. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">This definition creates some detachment for me from the allure that money means more or reflects on me in any way. More money can mean more possibility and opportunity; less money may mean I need to be more creative, more conscientious, and more intentional with it. Simple—not easy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">My goal is to take the shame and taboo out of the money conversation. We all have it and need it to some extent. We all use it daily. We tend to feel that either there is never enough, or that we personally don’t have enough—no matter how much we have. So, why the big secret???<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">______________________________</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #6aa84f; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">Carol Dacey-Charles, ACC, CPCC <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">I am an ICF-accredited life, leadership and sudden wealth coach. I partner with my clients to find balance, clarity and peace of mind on their way to creating the lives they have always wanted. There are no extra points for suffering--<i>Why Not Thrive?</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #6aa84f; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">Contact me for a complimentary 30-minute sample session, <a href="mailto:carol@ynoththrive.com">carol@ynoththrive.com</a></span><span style="color: #6aa84f;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><a href="mailto:carol@ynoththrive.com"><br /></a></span></span></div>
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</h2>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08629514433978045179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1947092052620081084.post-16285586560815205032014-10-16T14:07:00.001-04:002014-10-16T14:09:21.014-04:00The Power of Day-Dreaming<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia6E4MP8Ez2hgdQVWKasKF8Rzso0v8QPkYYxME2a1nFZfBgXhaoeXDpbd7gURk9KbYxJz2o7dWfAtS6F2UrwVZER4LljQ3EC5zQKpVA8N4uWdBmA67NrVlNR1aDVIzK-tpwJuHJxgEK0ax/s1600/IMG_3018.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia6E4MP8Ez2hgdQVWKasKF8Rzso0v8QPkYYxME2a1nFZfBgXhaoeXDpbd7gURk9KbYxJz2o7dWfAtS6F2UrwVZER4LljQ3EC5zQKpVA8N4uWdBmA67NrVlNR1aDVIzK-tpwJuHJxgEK0ax/s1600/IMG_3018.jpg" height="200" width="166" /></a></div>
When was the last time you let yourself day-dream? I mean, no agenda, unreasonable, big as you can imagine vision of what might be possible for you, or your family, or your business? Well I've been day-dreaming--it may be the fall weather and the crunching leaves and the chill in the air--but my mind has been wandering down some amazing roads.<br />
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Growing up, I wasn't a child with a big imaginary life. I grew up with adults. I had much older parents, and siblings who were 20, 18 and 14-years older than me. We watched <i>60-minutes</i>, not <i>The Wonderful World of Disney</i>. I did have Sesame Street and The Electric Company--but those shows were adults interacting with puppets talking about practical life-lessons--and don't get me started on Mr. Rogers (creepy a little).<br />
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Logical, practical, safe and reasonable were words I would use to describe me growing up. Great traits for a stage or events manager, not ideal for an entrepreneur and wanna-be visionary. In order to make the shift in my approach to life from head-driven to being open to inspiration, I needed tools to help me dream. I don't mean giving myself over to fantasy as escapism--but using those tools of "what if" to see where life could take me if I were willing to think bigger, deeper, different than just the practicalities of what I have already experienced.<br />
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I have found in order to create something from nothing and to chart a path through uncharted territory--I need to have a vision--that concept, belief and imagining that <i>This is Possible</i>. Simply--if I cannot imagine it, then I cannot create it or become it. <br />
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So, day-dreaming--not worrying about HOW, just imagining WHAT in lots of details. Not Strategic Planning--but Organic Fantasizing. Really notice: What am I feeling, what are the colors around me, who else is there, what is the environment, what am I wearing, what am I doing, what is the energy. What about this is fun, creative, joy-filled, prosperous, growing me, making a difference in my world? So this is the visualizing in my head part of day-dreaming, but there is more.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVlBPP4byFO0PiRw1nUA_3AsZqQ8IJ1_aThuIVghdAoWsOuL6XtQtMH4BkMbSQ9Ppf79o1oh2YaW9OpPbsJgze56nwqjmwj1ZCV_NiJsOExPnEbt1UA3Lxrc5Xppg-govU8dZDEpow7vfQ/s1600/IMG_3017.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVlBPP4byFO0PiRw1nUA_3AsZqQ8IJ1_aThuIVghdAoWsOuL6XtQtMH4BkMbSQ9Ppf79o1oh2YaW9OpPbsJgze56nwqjmwj1ZCV_NiJsOExPnEbt1UA3Lxrc5Xppg-govU8dZDEpow7vfQ/s1600/IMG_3017.jpg" height="150" width="200" /></a><br />
I like to turn my day-dreams into vision boards--while many vision boards are pure imagery, mine tend to be mostly words. I have a magnetic board on the wall next to my desk that I put up quotes, ideas, words cut from magazines, etc. I like that it allows my "vision" to stay fluid and changeable as what inspires me changes. Having it part of my "work" space, reminds me that inspiration is part of what I want my business to be about. It serves as a daily reminder of what I want to create and how I want to be.<br />
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I believe that words have power. What we say about ourselves and to ourselves shape how we move through the world. I find that if I can <i>claim something</i>--write it down or name it out loud, then it is easier for me to get it or become it. I have written many lists in the past about my next job or apartment--not just a title, but the feel of the place, the quality of my co-workers/neighbors, the commute, the pay/rent, all the little details in detail. More often than not, I got more of what was on my list than not. I don't know if the list just gives me focus, or if putting out clear intentions lead to clear results.<br />
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There is also something powerful for me talking about what I want to be in the present tense. <i>I am a successful coach</i>. <i>I am a powerful speaker</i>. <i>I run a thriving business</i>. When I can claim these things out loud (or out in public in a blog) it normalizes it for me. It makes it possible. <br />
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While many people know I am a WNYC junkie, music is also a powerful means of keeping the energy of my day-dreams alive. I have a couple play lists specifically to remind me what I want to be about. It is a great tool to keep my mind off of worrying and to stay in the moment. Worrying is all about trying to control the future--and as much as I can fall into trying to anticipate everything, it is a lot of stress and anxiety that isn't keeping me in my creativity and joy.<br />
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So, I am pro-day-dreams, especially if they lead you to take action to make them part of your reality. Day-dreaming also helps me to know what I don't what--when it doesn't feel like my dream, I may be moving in the wrong direction.<br />
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So--go forth and dream, write, and imagine your next big career move, vacation, dream home, retirement, way of being--whatever it is that makes your heart pound because that could be yours! When you can "see" it, it is easier to create it. Dream on.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08629514433978045179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1947092052620081084.post-13944072635565435642014-09-30T16:18:00.001-04:002014-09-30T16:18:40.132-04:00Don't Panic! Remember What You Know. Lesson 3--Be Easier.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So lesson three from my summer vacation has to do with snorkeling, or at least the lesson came while snorkeling. The first time I snorkeled, it was one of those experiences that you want to tell everyone about--'It's like a Jacques Cousteau special, but live and in full color and so darned close!" Who knew?<br />
<br />
But what snorkeling also is, is attempting to put on flippers while wearing a goofy face mask and trying not to fall or drown as the waves pummel you. It is trying to keep your mask sealed and clear so you are not swimming in a foggy haze as you attempt to not collide with the sharp corral. It is also trying to breath through your mouth, as waves fill your snorkel and other snorkelers paying more attention to fish than people slam into you. Fun huh?!<br />
<br />
After that first experience of snorkel nirvana, I have spent many years trying to recreate that wonder and amazement. But not so much. Many of these experiences were about surviving a clutching sensation in my chest as I struggled to maneuver through this foreign landscape. I would panic if the reef looked too close. I would panic as I re-aligned my mask and snorkel. I would wear myself out judging what was going wrong, so that the amazing miracle of breathing underwater with a window on this world of color and shapes and animals and plants was just lost on me.<br />
<br />
You might ask why keep going back? Can't I just find a nice aquarium to visit? I was feeling a bit of that on this trip--why struggle, is it really worth it? Once you see one Picasso Triggerfish do you really need to see another?? Well actually, yes! Walking with fear for the sake of beauty or adventure or being completely alive is worth it to me. So, with rented gear I walk over to the beach--a cove with a reef full of fish and the occasional turtle, to see what I can see.<br />
<br />
First comes the "helpful" voices in my head--"the waves are a bit rough, this is not going to be easy", and "You should have come with a buddy, you will never get your flippers on without help". But then I stole a trick from the surfer I had seen earlier in the week. I just stood on the sand and watched the cove--really just took it all in. I saw for the first time the curve of the reef, and the paths that were free of rocks to walk into the water. I also noticed where the families were splashing, verses where the snorkelers were hanging, and what routes the surfers were using. Just observing the whole environment helped calm me down. There was no rush and this wasn't my first rodeo.<br />
<br />
Funny enough, my flippers slid right on--that was a first! I followed the sandy path into the water and dove right in. And while my rental mask wasn't perfect by any means, I suddenly remembered how to blow bubbles into it to clear out water. I did see all kinds of fish and corral. i even swam out a bit farther than planned and it was okay. When my snorkel got angled into the water so I was breathing ocean instead of air, I didn't panic. I stopped, made an adjustment and kept going.<br />
<br />
Dang, how many times do I start panicking or kicking myself for "not knowing better" right now? During how many proposals or presentations do I make up a story that "I've never been here before" or "I don't know what the right answer or right way is" so I get that clutching feeling in my chest? <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyIu9OiKeSasfkzOKVoe6NEZJhwxa7wRCkX36LoV81mdPRBWdu3qWV5TRpgj89wiXnb9pIKkoLaGHcVXtyqAm5qjEHa6zHSoDItikrJQscD8-qoHLLjobl8GxmUaLJhPo3TYxznRodLofX/s1600/IMG_2862.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyIu9OiKeSasfkzOKVoe6NEZJhwxa7wRCkX36LoV81mdPRBWdu3qWV5TRpgj89wiXnb9pIKkoLaGHcVXtyqAm5qjEHa6zHSoDItikrJQscD8-qoHLLjobl8GxmUaLJhPo3TYxznRodLofX/s1600/IMG_2862.jpg" height="150" width="200" /></a>What if it were as easy as remembering that I have tools? That I have swum in deep water before--maybe not this pool, but a lot of the basics are the same. What if moving forward, or getting to the goal, were as easy as "stop, make an adjustment, then keep going"?<br />
<br />
The bottom line for me was to Be Easier--breathe more, don't panic, use my tools, roll with the waves, I've have been here before, keep going. I hope you have an <i>easy </i>Autumn.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08629514433978045179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1947092052620081084.post-38841113047926425422014-09-23T17:12:00.001-04:002014-09-23T17:12:54.762-04:00Summer Vacation: Lesson 2—Climbing Mountains<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn6Ih6u18x2_Nrs1o112C2qwnKBSemckpR3WDOy08t2Eea1BmZA_iTaY0NopHpSeu2r14NwkXg2DpXXquXZeynNZS5tBosjfxh805E9zNL5OhFf3aYuZwa069GVpCkpnKKNYorF5g0JW7N/s1600/P1050385.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn6Ih6u18x2_Nrs1o112C2qwnKBSemckpR3WDOy08t2Eea1BmZA_iTaY0NopHpSeu2r14NwkXg2DpXXquXZeynNZS5tBosjfxh805E9zNL5OhFf3aYuZwa069GVpCkpnKKNYorF5g0JW7N/s1600/P1050385.jpg" height="200" width="150" /></a></div>
So, lesson two from my summer vacation puts me on the north
side of Kauai at the end of the road. Really, the road on the north side going
west ends at Ke’e Beach. Ke’e is my favorite beach on the island. It has lots of sand and shade, you can walk a
long distance, chickens roam the sand, you can see turtles and monk seals, or
just sit in the calm waters. There are
even facilities and a lifeguard and sometimes a guy selling ice-cold coconuts
in the parking lot.<br />
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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What is also at Ke’e, is the trailhead of the Kalalau Trail,
or the Na Pali coast hike. If you have seen Jurassic Park, South Pacific, Six
Days/Seven Nights, King Kong with Jessica Lange, Pirates of the Caribbean—you
have seen the Na Pali coast.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is only
accessible by water, helicopter or hiking. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I have visited Kauai six times, and every time I say that I
will hike part of the Na Pali coast. Never have. Why? Lazy, yes--but that’s too
simplistic. My lazy is deeply rooted in a lifetime of viewing myself as the
overweight kid who was last in any laps running during PE or countless team
practices.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was embarrassed by my body—the
suit of armor I carried to protect myself from dealing with my emotions or my sexuality.
My lazy was intertwined with my not wanting to fail, look bad, be made fun of, or
be fully seen. My form of lazy led me to gain weight in the run-up to my
wedding—to really make sure I would still be wanted or loved—more armor, more
padding so I wouldn’t get hurt so much by the rejection. If I don’t try—no
glory, no reward, but I also get to stay safe. Existing, not thriving.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So, about this hike.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This year was the year to try. So, bolstered by my traveling companions
and the promise of amazing views—up we start. We know that at ¼ mile is the
first lookout and at ½ mile is the view of the entire coastline.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Easy, right? Ten minute walk on the streets
of NYC.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are not in NYC! This trail is
straight up the side of a mountain—loose rock, big fall away, waterfalls create
slippery/slimy little hazards to maneuver. Big fun!! We are passed by younger
hikers—and trail runners--but on we push.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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We made the first ¼ mile in about 20 minutes. Panting, happy
to stop for photo ops, not dead yet and not embarrassed yet. Hopeful even.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At this point, two of our party who had
chosen flip-flops as hiking gear decide to return down the mountain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had an out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I didn’t have to go on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What to
do? <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6VCYWG6r-iUJMnWAkgbQXxB-8O3ie8TFUncICCXErKAPHhN1bYpeslX6H3VqppLBG_iYQlpXrPsQcHz9gjBDRnOh3KMmCeKrWcl7V16scUsDqvHXZw2CeCmBwh70syQsx5U1SA1Ts8qGk/s1600/P1050418.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6VCYWG6r-iUJMnWAkgbQXxB-8O3ie8TFUncICCXErKAPHhN1bYpeslX6H3VqppLBG_iYQlpXrPsQcHz9gjBDRnOh3KMmCeKrWcl7V16scUsDqvHXZw2CeCmBwh70syQsx5U1SA1Ts8qGk/s1600/P1050418.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></a>Apparently, I have a moment with God. A voice in my head
said loud and clear: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“You are the
youngest one in this group. Why do you keep treating yourself less than? You can
do this. You are stronger and more agile than you know. Move up the mountain.”</i>
So I did. I maneuvered boulders, on-coming tourists and 20-mile per hour wind
gusts to stand at the ½ mile marker and see the Na Pali coast and the Northern
coastline from way up on a cliff. My legs were tired, but I did it. No confetti
or parades—but I did my own little internal happy dance. <o:p></o:p></div>
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We weren’t done yet. After 45 minutes up, it was back down
the trail.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And for me, down was a lot
easier. I work better with gravity than against it. I actually bounded down the
mountain—faster was working for me. Yes, my legs were sore the next day, but I
not only survived, I got the photos to prove it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDal6ctH-gDozVU0hkyJ2CIHAIEb6xQ1zBtJqx2eTMLR9l3cP_E9-RJdPXcMeJ6uNm-ek6pP8FttACAGgm9GFL9vfLRLVrnADphup52_21Si-48y1u3Fiw5l-gkUPsK1YVSFeBzqEm0CIg/s1600/P1050414.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDal6ctH-gDozVU0hkyJ2CIHAIEb6xQ1zBtJqx2eTMLR9l3cP_E9-RJdPXcMeJ6uNm-ek6pP8FttACAGgm9GFL9vfLRLVrnADphup52_21Si-48y1u3Fiw5l-gkUPsK1YVSFeBzqEm0CIg/s1600/P1050414.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></a>My lessons—let go of old stories that are not supporting my
thriving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No risk means no reward.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I now want to get out of my comfort zone
more—see what else I can do or become.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
want to start pushing my physical limits as much as my career, intellectual and
creative edges.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What can I do if I
weren’t concerned about how others might see me, what they might think?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
How cool would that be?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’ll let you know.<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08629514433978045179noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1947092052620081084.post-44356734404721253532014-09-16T16:00:00.000-04:002014-09-16T16:05:47.813-04:00What I learned on my Summer Vacation. Lesson One—Catching Waves<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiQfSU0d8Lg1KnEJ6PDRzJkZNXuIm3EEEfk7h45Zh2hbiieOx_otVK1DHcYcLXJbfwPtm-Yw0LI_gRdxLNXwXjmmQAsnwcUR_JEiGn-Lg3lWEx5_l4O5oabEz4WehHxQfFyqrDfc1UThnt/s1600/IMG_2863.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiQfSU0d8Lg1KnEJ6PDRzJkZNXuIm3EEEfk7h45Zh2hbiieOx_otVK1DHcYcLXJbfwPtm-Yw0LI_gRdxLNXwXjmmQAsnwcUR_JEiGn-Lg3lWEx5_l4O5oabEz4WehHxQfFyqrDfc1UThnt/s1600/IMG_2863.jpg" height="150" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is “back to school” time and that gets me thinking of
years writing essays and taking stock of the waning days of summer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And this summer, I actually had a few pretty
cool Aha- moments I’d like to share.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The first lesson came while I was sitting on my lanai in
Kauai—over-looking the cove in front of the Beach House restaurant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every morning, and truly all day long,
surfers come here to take advantage of the break and easy water access.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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This one morning I watched a surfer in his mid-forties take
his board and walk to the point. He stood and watched the waves for a good
15-20 minutes—just staring out into the ocean as far as I could tell. There
were already many surfers on the water right behind the restaurant, but instead
of paddling in to join them, he watched. Then he did something different. He
picked up his board and walked down the beach another 20-30 yards and paddled
out to a different break where no one else was surfing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I watched him sit on his board and watch the
ocean. Then at the right moment, he turned toward shore and began paddling. I
saw nothing coming up behind him, but again and again he kept catching
waves—riding them in and paddling back out. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What I loved is that he followed his own instincts and
trusted his experience enough not to follow the crowd.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He didn’t just jump in with the rest of the
pack and fight for a little piece of a wave.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He made his own path and owned a whole part of the ocean. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How many times
do I doubt my ideas or dreams because they are different—on the road less
traveled?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that I have let many a
comment, solution or suggestion just die unspoken or not-acted upon because the
rest of the crowd or company or “they” were going in a different direction and
THEY must be right, right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They all seem
to know better—who am I?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well, I am ready to make me my own leader rather than following the crowd. I am ready to claim my voice and urges as valuable and innovative and worthwhile. I want my own piece of the ocean. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So this is what I’m
taking away from the surfer:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Take time to really assess the situation before taking
action.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Trust my instincts and
experience when I do take action. But also, take action—he didn’t just watch
the water; he made the effort to catch the waves that came his way. I want to
take advantage of the opportunities that no one else may be seeing—to carve my
path, share my strengths, speak my truth and shine my light.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I may be alone for a while, but that doesn’t
mean I’m wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know my rewards will
roll in as well.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast;">Are you willing to catch
your own wave and claim your piece of the ocean? Hang loose, more lessons from summer vacation
coming very soon.</span><!--EndFragment-->
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08629514433978045179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1947092052620081084.post-50741363298866724782014-07-06T21:19:00.000-04:002014-07-06T21:20:59.285-04:00Are You Lazy or Doing Too Much at Once?Procrastination, laziness, lack of discipline--I keep hearing these themes over and over again from my clients. Complaints of time-management issues, not being able to stay on top of email, exercise, moving forward with a business plan, getting that dream project launched, or those odd tasks that have been put-off for months at this point. Why do we delay the joy of checking off that long avoided task? What is stopping us from taking one step closer to accomplishing our goals?<br />
<br />
<i>What is really going on here? Many times, the culprit is Multi-Tasking.</i><br />
<br />
More and more our lives--be it at the office, home, or on the go--are being overwhelmed by the "convenience" of alerts from email, texts, Facebook, Twitter, stocks, LinkedIn, news feeds, eBay, Instagram, and more. We are becoming addicted to the excitement of "what is happening now" and the fear of missing out. Will kittens die if you don't answer that email or text within 30-seconds from receiving it? No? Then don't! <br />
<br />
Here is a secret--you get to be the boss of your time most of the time.<br />
<br />
How can we bring our best to any given task if we can't give it our full-attention? Do we even remember full-attention anymore? Writing without interruption, or a conversation/meeting without electronic devices, or a smart-phone/tablet/laptop-free meal--sound familiar?<br />
<br />
I don't find that most of my clients are lazy but unable to commit a block of time to one task at a time. If your quest is to "get things done" try some single-focused attention.<br />
<ol>
<li>Turn off your email, alerts, and silence your phone. </li>
<li>Breathe. </li>
<li>Choose a task from your To Do list.</li>
<li>Set a timer for 25 minutes. </li>
<li>Work on that one task. </li>
<li>If you complete your task before the time is up, choose another task and begin.</li>
<li>If the timer goes off before you are done, either: </li>
<li>A. Set the timer for another 25 minutes, and continue or </li>
<li>B. Set the timer for 5 minutes. Check and respond to email/texts/voicemail.</li>
<li>Celebrate each task completed by crossing it off your list, get-up and move around/stretch.</li>
<li>Start over at the top</li>
</ol>
<div>
This method works with personal tasks, as well as work tasks. It is long enough to actually get stuff done, and short enough that important emails/calls/texts can get addressed when the timer goes off.</div>
<div>
<br />
When you dedicate a block of time to your tasks you set yourself up for success--things get done, self-esteem goes up, stress goes down. Win, win, win!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<i>And don't forget</i>: make sure that you and your goals/dreams are on your To Do list. It is so easy to put everyone else first. If you aren't creating the life you have dreamed of--who is going to do it? Break your goals down into little chunks, and start doing a bit everyday. If not now, when? </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<a href="http://www.ynotthrive.com/">Why Not Thrive?</a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08629514433978045179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1947092052620081084.post-75262802285390179722014-02-12T14:17:00.002-05:002014-02-12T14:32:33.641-05:00Setting Intentions...Living Consciously<h3>
<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">2014 is my Year for Easy, Simple, and Fun</span></h3>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOQZPbrS9vYHBVyvMck97BAU_rRcGavuTtw4aujhftnpcxUCvUxrRHUAgWCtrq1wNxl-MwDX3sMl0L18fUSuetlsK7lfAnZ5Uhdlujqwg6Bu7p025rk6VLs1MuyH1NIw8yq_l7icLXJm7Q/s1600/IMG_2398.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOQZPbrS9vYHBVyvMck97BAU_rRcGavuTtw4aujhftnpcxUCvUxrRHUAgWCtrq1wNxl-MwDX3sMl0L18fUSuetlsK7lfAnZ5Uhdlujqwg6Bu7p025rk6VLs1MuyH1NIw8yq_l7icLXJm7Q/s1600/IMG_2398.jpg" height="130" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My Current Vision Board</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: inherit;">My doing, entrepreneur,
NYC-minded self (or self-bully) looks at my 2014 intention and scoffs: <i>"What
are you, a preschooler? Where are the goals; the financial abundance, client
building, be all you can be for everyone resolutions? Easy, Simple, Fun--that
sounds like an excuse to be lazy and not accomplish anything in the name of
inner-peace."</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: inherit;">But my intention has nothing to do with "not-doing" and everything to do with <i>How</i> I am choosing to approach my business, my relationships, and my life.</span><br />
<a name='more'></a></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: inherit;">EASY--I am choosing to know that every new challenge, opportunity and goal will be Easy to resolve, step-up to, or achieve. It is a mindset that allows me to not panic, to not assume difficulty or hardship. Easy allows me to breathe and get centered in the moment.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: inherit;">SIMPLE--As an over-thinker, over-preparer, my habit has been to think up all the what-ifs, plan many options, and practice all the arguments, so that I can have the Right answer. By consciously choosing Simple, decision making is no longer about The Right answer, but the best solution for Right Now. By going for Simple, I still prepare, but take the stress and pressure out of the results. The most obvious answer--the simplest solution--is many times the best one for right now.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: inherit;">FUN--Such a little, happy word and feeling. One that I have labeled frivolous and less-than for years. I had the attitude that if Fun happened, that it was a bonus, but rarely a goal. Now I look for Fun. Fun tends to include adventure, companions and accomplishment. For me Fun has a bit of savoring rather than rushing. Fun is the energy of high-fives, mid-summer sno-cones, crunching fall leaves and scenic detours. Fun can be planned, or better yet, spontaneous.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<!--StartFragment--><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: inherit;">So--How
is my year going so far? Easy-- I put out the intention of more coaching
clients--and I have 3 new clients from 3 different connections. Simple-- Someone
committed bank fraud on my accounts--withdrawing thousands of dollars. I took a
breath and set my intention and within 3 days it was resolved with no penalty. Fun--I'm
saying yes to art days, game nights and coffee with friends. So far, so good I'd say!<!--EndFragment--></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: inherit;">We are powerful beings. When you set your mind and heart to something, you have the power to bring it alive in your life. What is your intention for 2014?</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08629514433978045179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1947092052620081084.post-17400115548813918902014-01-08T13:23:00.003-05:002014-02-04T08:41:22.383-05:00Home for the Holidays<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJa0757IV_60D57VsE3goN-panxN9wJh1xottPlKJUKvO9hL_A42b9bOTN5nOWySznUKen7_VkCe-SqG12a5UHWoUhAXrbSun5Udj_Md5RVpYwqcSMaMvEeBSVt9p8PBwGRDKW9B5e7SI6/s1600/Carols-First-Grade-Pic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJa0757IV_60D57VsE3goN-panxN9wJh1xottPlKJUKvO9hL_A42b9bOTN5nOWySznUKen7_VkCe-SqG12a5UHWoUhAXrbSun5Udj_Md5RVpYwqcSMaMvEeBSVt9p8PBwGRDKW9B5e7SI6/s1600/Carols-First-Grade-Pic.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #6aa84f; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">--originally posted Dec 2013</span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The concept of Home has been gnawing at me lately. What and where is “Home?” Is it a building, a
city, a person? I have lived in NYC
since 1996, but I don’t own it as Home.
I am Californian, a Northern Californian, from the Bay Area really,
Santa Clara specifically. Yet I no longer have family ties to Silicon Valley.
My family house from 1957-2005 has new cars in the driveway and new cats in the
yard. And if you have ever driven by the building where you grew up, and it
definitely wasn’t Home anymore, you know the weird and empty feeling that it
leaves in you. The knowing of “You can’t go Home again” as a true place/time
reference which rings true as the years go by.</span><br />
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<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I’m also dubious of the concept that Home is the people you
are with, or a person you love. If that were the case, if/when they move on (kid
goes to college, relationship breaks-up, someone close dies), do you then
become Homeless?</span><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">In a way, yes. When my
father passed away in 2000, and when a member of my inner circle died suddenly
last year, I did become untethered and ungrounded by the lack of their
Beingness in my life.</span><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">But if Home were
only people (or pet) dependent, it would be a series of falling off center,
especially as you live longer and love more. Then who would want to strive for
the Home that Dorothy so longs for if it were just a series of inevitable
losses?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So, I’m thinking that Home is a feeling rather than a person
or a place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Home is a sense of belonging
and comfort and even a little familiarity no matter where I am, or who I am
with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For me to feel at Home I need to
be grounded—not second-guessing myself, not trying to please or impress others,
but knowing that how I am is enough.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Part of my grounding is knowing that I am a planner,
preparer, and researcher. So ideally, I do my homework about the situation I’m
putting myself in—whether it is a vacation, presentation, workshop or coaching.
Then, ideally, I hold my options lightly to be able to be with what shows
up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This way I am at choice—whether it
is to choose a new city to see because of a railroad strike, or to ask a
different question when a client feels stuck, or know that I can find something
healthy when the people I’m with want fast food for the 3<sup>rd</sup> meal in
a row.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">This holiday season I will be traveling across the country,
but my goal is to be at Home.</span><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It is more
than just a decision; it is a game plan and a practice.</span><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Below is what I’m going to try for me—use
what you like, let me know what works for you.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Goal: Feeling at Home while on the road. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Looks like: Low stress, easy, fun, lots of choice, being in
the moment, grounded, and comfortable.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The Plan: (Ideally)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> 1.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Do
my homework before takeoff.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Where will I
be staying? Transportation options, Food options, Fun options.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Plan one/two fun things in advance. Make any
reservations for that to happen.</span></span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> 2.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> I</span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">nstitute
a Daily Practice. For me that means everyday I would like a little: Meditation,
Exercise, Fun, Good Food, and to try or experience Something New.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> 3.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Transparency.
Let those I’m with know about my Daily Practice so it doesn’t become “an
issue.”</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Invite them to play along or at
least be prepared for my needs in advance.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> 4.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Practice "Being Love" each day. This may include smiling at strangers. Saying thank you
more. Random acts of kindness. Appreciating my family. And remembering
Gratitude.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08629514433978045179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1947092052620081084.post-40346411609974149592014-01-08T13:22:00.001-05:002014-02-04T08:42:31.438-05:00Who am I anyway? <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiMsiSPVuC_3o4uE5dOtsvaqo3sG8VqocdDdcyjYiAY3h_vxebwBNdJP1YDb9HIetBisl8coUr6ER_cWcv18Mlc3ahdvQvukTI-oP42kSOujIL8h-uB1yxAaASL7w5fvPocPQnlxSbf2i3/s1600/Carol-Photo-for-Blog.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiMsiSPVuC_3o4uE5dOtsvaqo3sG8VqocdDdcyjYiAY3h_vxebwBNdJP1YDb9HIetBisl8coUr6ER_cWcv18Mlc3ahdvQvukTI-oP42kSOujIL8h-uB1yxAaASL7w5fvPocPQnlxSbf2i3/s1600/Carol-Photo-for-Blog.png" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #6aa84f; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">--originally posted Feb 2013</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">So, who am I, and why is “I Am” such a big part of this site’s design? First, I am Carol Dacey-Charles, a certified co-active coach working with individual clients and teams to help them achieve their goals with greater ease, joy and focus.Metaphorically: I help people lay down their weapons that they use on themselves and others so that creativity and thriving can happen. When we don't have to defend ourselves or attack, there is space for unlimited possibilities to occur. When we stop beating up ourselves, we have the energy and focus to start changing the world.</span></span><br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /><span style="color: #0b5394;">My experience as a coach, as a prayer chaplain, and as a friend has shown me that more dreams, ideas, inventions, art, businesses, etc. get squashed before they ever have a chance to see the light of day by the power and belief in the negative voices we all carry around in our heads.Some of the most brilliant, together, in-charge people I know are walking around right now thinking “I am a loser who will never succeed and who cares anyway so I am going to stay at this job I hate because if I keep my head down maybe they won’t fire me today and at least I can pay the rent even though I am dying here.” I was part of a Leadership program—a training program that people freely signed up for, calling themselves leaders, paying thousands of dollars to become better leaders, and a third of them said the biggest thing they would have to change to truly step into their leadership is the feeling and negative self-talk that they were not good enough.That tells me that there are a whole lot of people out there who may never have the courage to call themselves leaders who are constantly battling the inner-critic who says, “Who do you think you are?” “You are too old, too dumb, too ugly, too young, too late to start living your dream.” “You should be married by now.” You can’t wear that in public.” Any of this sound familiar? Fill in the blank with your bully’s special saying.Your words come from your thoughts and if your thoughts are dominated by a negative voice that is constantly telling you what you Should and Shouldn’t be doing and that you are Not Enough—your words reflect that. The more you repeat those words that cut yourself down, the more your actions reflect that truth you are carrying around. You start to act as if you are not worthy of love, a raise, a new job, or achieving your dream.This leads me to why I believe “I AM” are two of the most powerful words, right behind I love you. The words you choose to follow “I am” define who you are. It may be a name, a title, or a state of being, but whatever it is, it is the way you are choosing to define yourself in the world.I’m here to tell you that just by being you, you are enough. You are the best and only you that there ever will be, ever. No, you may not be as rich, or as talented, or as funny as so-and-so. Great—that is who they were born to be, not you. Only you can bring your perspective, your ideas, and your brilliance to the planet right now.So, who am I? I am Carol. I am talented. I am smart. I am funny and eccentric. I am a blogger. I am a wife. I am a leader. And I am enough.How about you? Please share who you are with the Word for Good community.</span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08629514433978045179noreply@blogger.com0